Two Words: Jeff Ellis
Monday, February 02, 2004
  Sunday was my first night off from work and, as usual, I slept through far too much of the day. I do know that Trent, who is our District Manager (a.k.a., the man whose ass must be kissed), is scheduled to be visiting the store today and is probably there right now, as I type this. Hopefully, the store currently looks like shit and Trent will simply fire everyone on the spot (and on my day off, as luck would have it). What's funny is that for a figure who inspires so much fear, Trent really is kind of a loser. Imagine a guy standing about 6'3, weighing -- at most -- a little over 110 pounds, with a face that's only prominent feature is an extensive roadmap of acne scars. Add in a weak, high-pitched voice that still cracks like a horny teenager's and a pushy, blonde wife with fake boobs who spends her time wandering into various Wal-Marts and screeching, "Do you know who I am!?" and that's Trent in a nutshell. He's like a lot of people in various power positions -- a loser with a good title.

I'll have to wait until I get back to work two days from now to find out how Trent's little visit went. If it's anything like his previous visits, he probably showed up in a snippy mood, threatened to fire the store manager, told everyone to improve their attitudes, and then left. At which point, everyone breathed a sigh of relief and then went back to fucking things up as usual. I could find out by dropping by the store either later today or tomorrow but I refuse to even go near that place on my offdays.

So, how has my mini-vacation been so far? Well, I woke up in time yesterday to catch almost the entire first quarter of the SuperBowl. I'm not really a huge football fan (to be honest, all I know about the game I learned from playing Madden 2004 on my laptop) but I followed the game enough to spend this year's superbowl (when I was actually awake) rooting for the Carolina Panthers. As I previously hinted, I ended up getting so bored during the 1st quarter of play that I ended up sleeping through what, I have since heard far too many times, ended up being one of the most exciting sporting events in the long history of exciting sporting events that I have somehow managed to sleep through. I did wake up at various moments through the game -- though never did I open my eyes at any point that would have indicated there was anything worth watching going on down in Houston.

Finally, I woke up with four seconds left in the final quarter of play, just to discover that somehow, both of these teams had ended up tied at 29 and that the entire game came down to the Patriots making one successful field goal which they proceeded to do right before my drowsy, myopic right eye. (My drowsy, myopic left eye -- being a lazy eye -- was focused on the DVD player sitting next to the TV -- hence, I only got to see half of the winning field goal...) So, there you have it. Not only do I manage to sleep through the greatest athletic spectacle since the early Greek Olympics featured Sophocles kicking Euripides' ass in the shot put, my team still ended up losing!

That said, I also managed to wake up enough to catch various SuperBowl-related events that didn't necessarily involve the throwing around of a football and the oddly repressed ass-grabbing that seemed to go along with every possible play, good or bad. Such as, I woke up just long enough to catch Kid Rock performing Cowboy at the half-time show (which was good as I seem to be one of the few people left who will openly admit to being a fan of Kid Rock's bizarre musical parody of American white trash) but I managed to fall asleep before Justin Timberlake exposed Janet Jackson's breast (which was also good as Miss Jackson's breast appeared to be strangely blurry and rather pixelated from all the replays of the incident that I've since seen on television...).

I was also occasionally awake enough to catch the multi-billion dollar commercials that supposedly everyone avidly watched the Super Bowl in the hopes of catching. Most of them came across as -- well, multi-billion dollar commercials. Nothing special or inspiring but Hey, you could tell they cost a few billion and I guess the idea was that no intelligent company would possibly waste that much money on a commercial unless its product was really, really special. Luckily, none of the commercials were as disturbing or, quite frankly, as stupid as that infamous commercial from 2000 that featured the image of Christopher Reeve's permanently grinning face plastered onto a computer generated, walking body. (I believe the idea was that whatever company produced this ghastly spectacle was also going to produce, at some point in the future, technology that would allow Reeve to walk again if not to wipe that disturbing grin off his face. I guess the message (or implied threat) was, "Buy our products or else Superman will never walk again!")

So, that was the SuperBowl, for me. Strangely enough, while I was asleep, I dreamed about the SuperBowl though in my dreams, the competition was between the Baltimore Ravens and the fictional team I created for Madden -- the Austin Irish. Yes, yes -- I know that Austin is not a city renowned for its deep Irish cultural heritage and I know that the same pretty much goes for the state of Texas. But, Hell -- I'm Irish, I'm from Texas, and it's my freaking game! Anyway, my dream game was actually far more inspiring than the actual game even if the Irish did end up losing 0-17.

(Hey, I never said my fantasy football team was actually a good team...) 
Comments: Post a Comment
Yes, it's yet another homepage for writer, actor, politician, chain-smoker, and all-around crank Jeff Ellis

Sign my Guestbook FREE GUESTBOOKS View my Guestbook

About Jeff Ellis

Order a Copy of My Book

E-mail Jeff Ellis

01/01/2004 - 02/01/2004 / 02/01/2004 - 03/01/2004 / 03/01/2004 - 04/01/2004 / 04/01/2004 - 05/01/2004 / 05/01/2004 - 06/01/2004 / 06/01/2004 - 07/01/2004 / 07/01/2004 - 08/01/2004 / 08/01/2004 - 09/01/2004 / 09/01/2004 - 10/01/2004 / 10/01/2004 - 11/01/2004 / 11/01/2004 - 12/01/2004 / 12/01/2004 - 01/01/2005 / 01/01/2005 - 02/01/2005 / 03/01/2005 - 04/01/2005 / 04/01/2005 - 05/01/2005 / 05/01/2005 - 06/01/2005 / 06/01/2005 - 07/01/2005 / 07/01/2005 - 08/01/2005 / 08/01/2005 - 09/01/2005 / 09/01/2005 - 10/01/2005 / 10/01/2005 - 11/01/2005 / 11/01/2005 - 12/01/2005 / 12/01/2005 - 01/01/2006 / 01/01/2006 - 02/01/2006 / 03/01/2006 - 04/01/2006 /

Powered by Blogger


Reva Renee Renz -- Renz would have won my vote in 2003's California recall election, if not for the fact that I'm not a resident of California. Anyway, Renz was one of the more likeable candidates in that free-for-all, one of the few who took it seriously without giving into meglomania. Her blog gives the details of her run and her life after. Renz is the owner of Deva's Bar in Tustin, California and I have to admit that the only reason I currently desire to visit California is to have a beer at that bar. Renz stands as proof that Republicans are a lot more fun than most people care to admit.

Yankee From Mississippi -- Shannon Black's blog, featuring writing that often puts me to shame. Plus, isn't that just an amazingly cool title for a blog or anything else for that matter?


The Charley Project -- A huge site, detailings hundreds of cold cases dealing with missing persons. This site is actually far superior and better written than the similar and better known Doe Network.

Crime News 2000 -- Despite the 2000, this is a daily updated listing of all the latest developments in all the morbid and disturbing stories that tend to capture the national psyche nowadays.

Doe Network -- One of those web sites that justifies the existence of the internet in the first place, the Doe Network is a huge database of missing persons and unifidentified remains from around the world.

Is this girl Tara Leigh Calico? -- This web site details the disappearance of a 19 year-old girl in New Mexico back in the late '80s. The details of Tara Calico's disappearance have haunted me for years now and served as the genesis for my current interest about missing person cases in general.


Charles Jay -- Personal Choice Party Candidate For President In 2004 -- I wrote in Jay's name for President in 2004. I think about 228 other people -- mostly in Utah -- agreed with me.

D.C.'s Political Report -- With Politics1 on indefinite hiatus, this is now the best place on the web to find continually updated listings of who is running for what and where.

Homepage of the Libertarian Party -- I am a member of the Libertarian Party, even if the party itself can't ever quite seem to get it's act together.

National Review -- The magazine for both true conservatives and Libertarians who think Ayn Rand was a hack

Politics 1 -- The site is officially on hiatus but there's still the occasional update. The archival information on the various candidates in the 2000 and 2004 Presidential races always makes for interesting reading.

Pop Culture




Amazon.com -- I've posted quite a few reviews of books, film, and music on this site and I've gotten a good deal of very gratifying and very positive feedback from them. (I've also managed to piss off just about everyone who cried when they saw Titanic for the 10th times but that's another story...) Those reviews can be found by searching the site for Jeffrey Ellis from Richardson, Texas.

The Homepage of Gregory Alan Norton -- Homepage of one of my favorite liberals, fellow writer Greg Norton who I published in the premier issue of Jack the Daw way back in 1995. His site quotes my review of his excellent first novel, There Ain't No Justice, Just Us and includes information on how to order the book.

Xlibris -- Homepage for Xlibris, the publishers of It's Impossible To Start A Fire If You Have No Desire To Burn

Blogarama - The Blog Directory